The Secret Schedule of Jamie Madrox
by pirate kit
Summary: Written as a filler for the Private Life of Jamie Madrox. Jamie's secret plans have been discovered! But what exactly is this about dessert...?


This was done because I was having Jamie Madrox withdrawal.  It's a pretty nasty thing, daa.  First you get the shakes.  Then you have an urge to eat a whole box of Cheez-its without sharing.  Then you watch Steve Corwin and realize your life has hit a new low.

Note to all: This startlingly resembles my life…

The Secret Schedule of Jamie Madrox 

**2/12/04**

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Ray was sitting on the edge of the couch, his feet resting on the cushion while he slouched over the armrest.  It wasn't he was bored, but more like he was practicing.  He had to appear ready to loaf at the drop of a hat.

Forcing a yawn, Ray slid down to take over the entire couch.  "OW!"  Something hard jabbed Ray in the back, causing him to tumble off the sofa.  Sofas were supposed to be soft and sometimes leathery.  This sofa seemed to be rather pointy.  Reaching into the cushions, Ray pulled out a day planner.

Normally, day planners are rather boring.  Ray was about to toss is to the floor when he caught sight of the name on the day planner.  'Jamie's secret schedule'.  "Geez, Squirt.  You gotta stop writing your name on your 'secret diaries'."  Ray smirked, and flipped the book open.  

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4:30 AM: Wake up.  Plant alarm clocks set to go off in ten-minute intervals starting at 5 AM all over Roberto's room.  THAT'LL teach him not to be such a morning person.

7:00 AM: Wake up.  Hit snooze button.

7:15 AM: Wake up.  Hit snooze button.

7:20 AM: Wake up.  Pull batteries out of alarm clock.

7:25 AM: Wake up.  Stand up from floor after Logan tips the bed on its side.  Have four multiples throw a fit.

7:30 AM: Wake up.  Get off pile of blankets on floor.  Stand in the hallway screaming at a duplicate until someone else wakes up.  Then proceed to get dressed and cleaned.  Do NOT brush hair.

8:00 AM: Eat breakfast.

8:05 AM: Fight Bobby for the comics.

8:06 AM: Scrape my toast off the ceiling.

8:10 AM: Avoid brushing hair, like Ororo suggests.

8:30 AM: Watch cartoons.

9:15 AM: SECOND BREAKFAST!  Suggest to Kurt to make waffles.

9:45 AM: Keep watching cartoons

10:00 AM: Get dragged from TV by Scott.

10:04 AM: Follow Scott, asking embarrassing and difficult questions until I get the answer 'JUST, BECAUSE!'

10:30 AM: Think up interesting uses for multiples

10:45 AM: Try out interesting uses for multiples

11:00 AM: Blame interesting uses for multiples on Bobby.

11:30 AM: LUNCH!

12:00 PM: Hang out with Kitty.

12:02 PM: Continue to try to hang out with Kitty.

12:04 PM: Beg Kitty to hang out with her.

12:10 PM: Give up and hang out with Jean instead.

12:30 PM: Resist Jean's demands to brush hair.

1:00 PM: Dance time.  Go to the den, push all the chairs out of the way, crank the sound system way up and boogie with twenty of my selves.  Practice the Hustle.

1:30 PM: Pretend I have no clue how footprints got on the ceiling.

1:45 PM: Spy on Sam.  Write down everything he says for blackmail information.

2:00 PM: SNACK TIME!

2:15 PM: Set the Danger Room simulation to 'Death by Penguins'

2:45 PM: Find Mr. McCoy and play frisbee.

3:30 PM: Do my homework.

3:35 PM: Find Rogue and ask her to help with homework.

3:50 PM: Spend homework time basking in Rogue's attention and making faces at Bobby when he walks by.  Must agree when Rogue talks about 'kicking Gambit where the sun don't shine'.  NOTE TO SELF: Remember this phrase and ask Roberto what it means.  Sunspot should know the answer.

5:00 PM: Spend next half hour hiding whenever Kitty asks for help in the kitchen.  List of acceptable hiding places: under the kitchen sink (Kitty never looks there), under the foldout sofa, in the fountain (Note: Bring a snorkel), under Professor's desk, or in the dryer.  No one ever uses the dryer.  No one uses the washing machine either.  Note for later: Hide Bobby's shoes in the washing machine.

5:30 PM: DINNER!  Make faces at anything with 'casserole' in its name.

5:45 PM: DESSERT!  Get to dessert before Kurt.  If unable to, eat Ray's dessert.

6:00 PM: Point out any new scrapes or bruises to Storm.  Whine and cry.  Get as much sympathy as possible.

6:15 PM: Free time.  Create duplicates and set them free.

6:45 PM: Burst into Bobby's room, and scream something.  Jump out and slam door.  Repeat until Bobby freezes his door shut or gives chase.

7:00 PM:  Volunteer to help Amara with her mutation by setting up the candles.  Tell her just enough of the blackmail information to make Sam think she is telepathic.

7:30 PM: SNACK CAKE BREAK!  Beg Mr. McCoy for one.

7:45 – 8:30 PM: Work with the professor over my control.  Keep duplicates from bursting into dance for longest 45 minutes of my life.

8:45 PM: Get into my pajamas.  Gloat that I've gone the entire day without brushing my hair.  Next Goal: Go two days without brushing hair.

8:50 PM: Call Remy's cell phone.  Inform him he's still a doofus and that he had better stay away from Rogue.  If anyone walks by, pretend to be ordering a pizza.

9:00 PM: Demand to stay up with the big kids and watch a movie on tv.  Spend whole time pretending that the movie doesn't scare me.

10:43: Fall asleep on couch.  Have Logan carry me to my room.  Repeat procedure from here.

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Ray closed the book.  "Boy, Squirt sure has an agenda.  It's kinda cute, he wants to be all grown up and… wait-a-sec… THAT LIL PUNK!  He's been eating my dessert!"


End file.
